A series of coded messages

Dear Anaconda,

I understand, through a series of coded messages, that you have moved your Rook to Queen’s Rook 5. I took the necessary precautions and had your tailor’s mistress in Panama kidnapped. Perhaps you will relinquish your headstrong ambition to create a seki with double ko and consider releasing one of my informants. Perhaps not. My bid is 2 No Trump.

Prison was interesting. I’m sorry they let the old man dry into jerky. These clerical types can never admit their errors and we all suffer. Blankingworth was a good sort, for an embezzler, although it must be said that some of the more advanced murderers in our section were considering assassinating him just to relieve the boredom. He may not have come out of it that badly, all in all. Depends on your definition of “that badly”.

One complaint: the interrogators you had sent to my cell were not up to your usual standards. They gave me the wrong mixture and I went insane for a week. That’s just money down the drain, old man. I know you’re partial to Albanians, but the quality has suffered.

On the other hand, I must thank you for employing such a charming and devious wench in your financial office. She dug a lovely tunnel and she, I, and the contents of most of your Austrian accounts are enjoying the sun here in Durban. Come down. I think the sharks would love to see you again. They missed you last time you were here, curse them.

I must go. Your money won’t spend itself, I’m afraid.

Bishop to King’s Knight 2,

Anders Inkling.

Almanac revisions

Dear Mr. Cartographimera-Sythe,

It is with some measure of embarrassment that I pen this note to you. Well type this note to you. You know what I mean.

It seems there has been a sort of an administrative error over in our internment division. It’s really nothing to worry about, a simple case of mislaid files. Somehow the file of one A. Inkling was placed in with the B’s, I’m not quite sure how it could have happened. However the matter has been put to rights and I can assure you that our files are now once again in tip-top shape.

Of course there is still a small discrepancy that will require your earnest and diligent attention: after a routine inspection we found that our internment occupancy no longer matched our exacting files, per-se. To be specific we found a Mr. Brian Blankingworth in what was believed to be an empty chamber in the “I” division. Unfortunately due to the oversight, no meals or exercise breaks were provided for Herr Blankingworth, much to his displeasure. Well we can only assumed that he was displeased as it turns out this oversight was made some 8 months ago and the good Blankingworth ceased to express any mood or emotion after the first fortnight. Needless to say this does not concern you, my old friend, but you see we have to put our files straight, and as best we can see from our now remedied files, room 26 in the “B” wing, once thought to be the well-attended room of the late Blankingworth should in fact, have been housing the aforementioned A. Inkling. As of this morning B-26 was without occupant and I’m certain that the Assistant Director to the Internment Supervisor’s Records Clerk will be quite upset to hear that his favorite cribbage partner is no longer expected for their afternoon cribbing.

With Fond Memories,

Albert Isaacstern
Junior Assistant Director to the Filing Secretary

Good Ol’ Ben Franklin

Okay I don’t know him, so his book is not technically listed here as one of the “books by people I know”, but since I just finished reading his autobiography I feel closer to our country’s greatest postmaster than I ever have before. Of course if I had a few more hundred dollar bills I might feel even closer, but so far that opportunitiy to surround myself with portraits of Benjamin Franklin has been frustratingly elusive. Nonetheless, Blaine McCormick’s modernization of Ben Franklin’s autobiography is a fun and instructive read.

DIY USB Flash Drive Mods

My friend Josh’s sister came up with a fun idea for adding some pizzazz to your usb flash drive. Check it out from Gizmodo: “UCLA student, Rachel, has launched a new site to help spice up that boring, dull USB flash drive that you use day in and day out. She plans on having a library of tutorials and a store for buying and modding USB flash drives.”

Go Rachel!

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Swinging Night of Tap!

You may have noticed that the content of this blog has gotten somewhat scattered. I think that reflects my often scattered-brained state of mind, so it is a case of art reflecting life. In other words, live with it, I do.

So, true-to-form here is another departure for this blog: plugging semi-amateur dance shows: This is good old-fashioned wholesome family entertainment that we’re talking about. If you’re going to be in Decatur, GA on April 22 or 23 then you owe it to yourself to check out the 6th Annual Swinging Night of Tap!

My friend Birda Ringstad puts together this annual dance fest to give some of her students a chance to show off for an audience of friends and family. Smiles are guaranteed for all!