A series of coded messages

Dear Anaconda,

I understand, through a series of coded messages, that you have moved your Rook to Queen’s Rook 5. I took the necessary precautions and had your tailor’s mistress in Panama kidnapped. Perhaps you will relinquish your headstrong ambition to create a seki with double ko and consider releasing one of my informants. Perhaps not. My bid is 2 No Trump.

Prison was interesting. I’m sorry they let the old man dry into jerky. These clerical types can never admit their errors and we all suffer. Blankingworth was a good sort, for an embezzler, although it must be said that some of the more advanced murderers in our section were considering assassinating him just to relieve the boredom. He may not have come out of it that badly, all in all. Depends on your definition of “that badly”.

One complaint: the interrogators you had sent to my cell were not up to your usual standards. They gave me the wrong mixture and I went insane for a week. That’s just money down the drain, old man. I know you’re partial to Albanians, but the quality has suffered.

On the other hand, I must thank you for employing such a charming and devious wench in your financial office. She dug a lovely tunnel and she, I, and the contents of most of your Austrian accounts are enjoying the sun here in Durban. Come down. I think the sharks would love to see you again. They missed you last time you were here, curse them.

I must go. Your money won’t spend itself, I’m afraid.

Bishop to King’s Knight 2,

Anders Inkling.

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